Kiss Your Miracle

A little while ago Adam asked his parents if they wouldn’t mind watching Sky for an evening so the two of us could have a date before the baby comes. They told us they’d love to and even offered to keep her overnight. At first I thought no, that would be weird. Sky should sleep at our house unless there’s a real reason for her to stay somewhere else, right? Like when we’re actually at the hospital having the baby. But the more I thought about it, the nicer it began to sound, especially because John and Terry seemed so excited to have her.

So on Saturday morning while Sky ran around at her grandparents’ house, I sat in a perfectly quiet kitchen, slowly drinking a cup of coffee. Of course, I still woke up at the crack of dawn. But instead of getting up with Sky I stayed buried under a mountain of blankets for another hour.

The evening before was just as peaceful. As Adam and I shopped in Orlando and went out to dinner, I couldn’t help but notice how relaxing it was to just talk to him. I think that’s one of the hardest things about parenting a toddler – constant interruptions. At the end of a typical day when Adam gets home from work, my brain is full of things to tell him and ask him, and I can’t wait to have a real conversation. But when every other sentence is cut short because Sky needs something, wants something, or has decided to throw a random temper tantrum, I lose my train of thought. I tell myself we’ll talk about it when she goes to bed, but by then I’ve usually forgotten.

I know we won’t have little ones around forever; people in the grocery store are constantly reminding me how fast they grow up, which is probably very true in hindsight. So for now, Adam and I are doing our best to enjoy life with our family today, interruptions and all. But I have to admit that having a break was wonderful. I was excited for Sky to come home on Saturday, but I also appreciated the slow, gentle start to the weekend. Thanks John and Terry! You are a HUGE blessing to us.

Most of the country has been in a cold snap this week, and we’re even feeling it down here in Florida. It’s been in the twenties at night and we’ve actually been wearing coats outside, sometimes even in the late afternoon. The northerner in me loves it. It seems like weather shouldn’t make that much of a difference in my day, but I have to confess that the chilly temperatures definitely improve my mood, even if it is more work to get bundled up before we go out.

Today Skylar and I were getting ready to go to the library when I noticed she was walking around the house with her hands in her coat pockets. She looked so grown up, just casually waiting for me like a bored teenager. And as I snapped her picture, I felt this intense surge of love for her rise up inside me. A minute later I scooped her up and covered her face with kisses, even though she squealed and squirmed in my arms. I think this is my favorite part of being a mom – the random moments on an ordinary days, when I’m suddenly aware that motherhood is everything I thought it would be and more.

Our baby boy’s due date is less than a month away now and I’ve spent my share of time wondering how I’ll manage Sky at eighteen months along with a newborn. Today though, it occurred to me that I should be spending at least an equal amount of time enjoying my little girl. Right now she has my undivided attention, and although it’s uncomfortable to carry her on top of my oversized belly, I can still cuddle her whenever she wants it. I admit that sometimes she frustrates me, but she also makes me laugh – a lot. This morning when I was getting ready in front of the mirror, I realized she was being way too quiet. I expected to turn around and find my dresser emptied or my journal destroyed or something like that, but instead she was sitting quietly on the floor, studying a People magazine as if she could read every word. I love taking pictures of her and looking at them later when she’s in bed for the night. It helps me remember the good moments from the day and washes away some of the tension.

When the two of us are home alone during the week, we go on plenty of outings to move each day along. We go to the park and outside for walks and to the children’s section of the library, but I also take her to the places I like – Barnes and Noble and Panera. Sky loves being out and interacting with people, and although she’s pretty demanding while we’re in the car, I’m still only responsible for one child at this point. There’s just one car seat in our Forrester and I’m still using a single stroller. Hopefully by springtime, I’ll be out and about with both Sky and her little brother, and I’m sure I’ll take plenty of pictures of our son and both kids together. But it won’t be quite the same as life now with just my daughter. And as I appreciate having two kids, I also want to know that I enjoyed the time I had with just one.