{"id":1536,"date":"2010-04-15T20:47:49","date_gmt":"2010-04-16T00:47:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kissyourmiracle.com\/?p=1536"},"modified":"2010-04-15T20:47:49","modified_gmt":"2010-04-16T00:47:49","slug":"companion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kissyourmiracle.com\/?p=1536","title":{"rendered":"Companion"},"content":{"rendered":"

If the book of Job teaches us nothing else, it\u2019s that some stretches of life are harder than others. Sometimes tragedy isn\u2019t just one major event \u2013 it\u2019s something big in the middle of a long string of difficulties.<\/p>\n

The \u201csomething big\u201d in family was my dad\u2019s death on November 3rd<\/sup>, 2009. But this week my sisters faced another struggle \u2013 the decision of what to do about their cat, Val. At thirteen years old, she\u2019d gotten very skinny and sick. The vet diagnosed her with terminal cancer and suggested the cat be put to sleep before she suffered too much pain. After lots of tears and deliberation, my sisters agreed. To the non-animal lovers in the world, an old cat\u2019s death isn\u2019t a big deal. But this cat was part of our family for years, and her terminal cancer diagnosis came just five months after our dad’s battle with terminal cancer.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t particularly consider myself an animal person, but during our infertility, Adam and I decided to get a kitten. We went to the pound and picked out a little orange and white tabby with amber eyes. We named him Kona for the place Adam and I first met. And from day one, Kona loved us. He wasn\u2019t a typical cat who kept to himself. When I\u2019d walk in the door from work every day, he\u2019d come racing around the corner to see me. When I graded papers, he\u2019d climb all over me. He was a faithful little something-for-me-to-love during that too quiet time in my life. I might not have had a baby, but at least my arms weren\u2019t completely empty.<\/p>\n

\"\"Then Kona disappeared off the back porch. On the day of my Grandma\u2019s funeral. We were also in the middle of an IVF cycle, which we learned a week later hadn\u2019t worked. A few weeks after that my doctor found skin cancer on my face. My Grandma had died, Kona was gone, and despite spending over $10,000 on IVF, I still wasn\u2019t pregnant. Instead of seeing a baby doctor, I found myself making a series of appointments to have the skin cancer removed.<\/p>\n

My Grandma\u2019s death and our failed fertility treatments were tragic to me on a large scale. I could sense God challenging me to trust Him through my pain, knowing those events were part of a larger plan I couldn\u2019t see. But Kona\u2019s disappearance seemed different. I wondered how it could possibly have a purpose behind it. And the timing of it seemed cruel.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s been almost five years since that difficult summer and I know now that God had two miracle babies planned for me just a little bit later. I\u2019m still not sure why everything happened the way it did \u2013 whether God took Kona away for a specific reason or if Satan was trying to kick me while I was down.\u00a0 But I do know that God wants to bring good things out of every bit of pain we face, and that\u2019s exactly what He did for me, long before I got pregnant. The combination of everything happening at once that summer turned me into a heartbroken mess and I knew I couldn\u2019t handle it all on my own. It led me to finally open up to my family and some trustworthy friends about the infertility, and to humble myself and ask for help, for prayer, and for compassion. It also brought Adam and me much closer together.<\/p>\n

More than anything else, I began to sense God\u2019s presence like I never had before. It might sound strange, but I remember sitting on our bedroom floor in tears and suddenly feeling like Jesus was sitting beside me. The Bible says that Jesus was a man of suffering, and familiar with pain (Isaiah 53:3). I was emotionally devastated, but I knew I wasn\u2019t alone, and that no matter what happened to me next, Jesus would still be with me.<\/p>\n

I would never want to relive that summer. But those circumstances led me to an intimacy with God that challenges me even now. I often wonder if I\u2019m still that close to God or if I\u2019ve become distracted.<\/p>\n

My thoughts are on my sisters today. I hope they sense God\u2019s comfort. And even though they might not understand what He\u2019s doing right now or even years down the road, I hope they can someday say He brought good things out of this dark time in their lives.<\/p>\n

\u201cDo not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.\u201d \u2013 Isaiah 43:1b-2a<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If the book of Job teaches us nothing else, it\u2019s that some stretches of life are harder than others. Sometimes tragedy isn\u2019t just one major event \u2013 it\u2019s something big in the middle of a long string of difficulties. The \u201csomething big\u201d in family was my dad\u2019s death on November 3rd, 2009. But this week […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1536","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-faith","category-motherhood"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissyourmiracle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1536","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissyourmiracle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissyourmiracle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissyourmiracle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissyourmiracle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1536"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissyourmiracle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1536\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1547,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissyourmiracle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1536\/revisions\/1547"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kissyourmiracle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1536"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissyourmiracle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1536"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kissyourmiracle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1536"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}