Kiss Your Miracle

Sometimes fear is good. Of course we all want happy, secure children as opposed to anxious ones. But Sky’s at an age where she can be a little too fearless. Over the weekend we went to the Palm Coast with my in-laws. They own a condo there with an amazing pool complex; there are two levels of pools for adults and children, a lazy river, a mega-sized hot tub, a fake beach pool, and a massive waterslide. In the past Adam and I would spend hours lounging on cushy reclining chairs near the quiet adult-only pool, where people sip margaritas and read magazines all afternoon. Now we’ve graduated to the kiddie pool, which is an entirely different world. But I was still really excited to go swimming, just knowing how much fun our little water baby would have. And she definitely enjoyed herself.

I love that Sky’s not afraid of the water. She doesn’t cry when she gets splashed in the face or nervously cling to us when we take her out deep. But she also has no concept of her own limitations. After five minutes of floating around in her little baby inner tube, she’d almost figured out how to climb out of it. At the edge of the beach pool, she needed someone in grabbing distance every second because of her tendency to go charging off into the water, oblivious to the fact that at thirteen months, she hasn’t yet mastered swimming by herself.

Developing a little fear will be good for Sky. I guess the trouble is that so many people fly right past a healthy level of fear into anxiety, where fear is irrational but still somehow overpowering. As I watched Sky in the pool, it hit me that part of my job as a mother is to teach her when to be cautious and when to be bold. It’s funny – the further I go into motherhood, the longer my job description gets. It’s probably a good thing that most of us don’t quite grasp all that’s in store for us before we become parents. But I’m starting to see more clearly now why God tells us to live one day at a time. Raising Sky to be a secure individual who accurately evaluates risk – that’s a huge task. Way too big for me. But drawing boundaries for her at the pool – that I can do. Motherhood is a million tiny decisions that add up to something big: the shaping of a life. Thank God he’s always telling us to rely on him. Every day I’m more aware that I can’t do it on my own.