Weakness April 8, 2010
It’s one thing to talk about my problems once they’ve been resolved. Writing about my experience with infertility isn’t usually difficult because it’s over now. But sharing about something I’m still dealing with is a lot harder. After I wrote a bit last week about feeling down (Blue), I sat at my computer for a while, debating – do I really want to put this on my blog for anyone to read? Eventually I decided not to overthink it and posted it.
I’m not sorry I did. I’ve always known that God has blessed me with sweet, generous friends and family, and all the comments and messages were encouraging (I promise I didn’t start a blog just so you all could build me up when I’m feeling down, but thanks for doing it so much!). No one called me a complainer or told me to “just” do this or that and everything would be wonderful again. But even before I looked at the comments, immediately after I put up the post, my mood lifted. Things didn’t seem as overwhelming as they had an hour earlier.
It’s interesting how God specifically places power inside weakness. I don’t like being vulnerable, but when God is pressing on me, leading me to open up about something, it always works out best when I do it.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9
I remember a friend telling me that it was ok to be vunerable. I didn’t believe her at the time for it felt very uncomfortable, but I am learning that by sharing our vunerabilities opens doors for encouragement on both sides of the conversation and allows the other person to share her areas of feeling vunerable. I think the blogs and facebooks and emails make it easier to have the coffee break girlfriend talks that we all seem to miss out on due to a hectic pace of life. It used to be that everyone lived close enough to drop by for a chat or to get together while the children played. Those girlfriend times are valuable at any stage of life. We women need to vocalize what is going on and just having a sounding board helps us to see life with a fresh perspective. What a blessing to have others around us to cheer us up and on!
I too, am learning that it is ok to NOT be “super mom” all the time. It’s hard being so open and honest and admitting when there’s a struggle. Someone once said to me “thanks for letting me know that you are human” as I was sharing my struggles on balancing motherhood and being a wife.
I often sing that song “Your grace is enough” when I’m gritting my teeth and holding back tears of frustration. HE is so faithful, thank you for your reminder of that.
I definitely admire the honesty I see in your blogs. I’ve thought about doing the same in mine, but I’m skeered! But that’s what living in the light is all about, blessings to you!
Isn’t it great how God uses that little crack of openness we give him (and others) to immediately break open our shell of fear and doubt? I think part of why Satan tries so hard to discourage us from telling each other when we’re struggling is because then it’s easier to convince of all his lies. “No one will understand. No one else feels this way. Everyone else does it better and will think I’m SO (fill-in-the-blank) for not being able to deal with this. No one wants to hear about it anyway. I’ll just be whining…..” Doesn’t that sound familiar? But when we start talking out loud about what’s bothering us all the lies are so clearly visible! He loses his grip! He thrives on what’s hidden and unspoken, but letting God expose our fear and weakness through humility and vulnerability deprives Satan of his power. That’s why He told us to bear each other’s burdens, and why He said His perfect love casts out fear. That’s probablly also why He keeps reminding we’re a body, so we don’t start thinking we’re meant to be able to do everything on our own – we’re all meant to work together to get each other through it with His power and love guiding us all.
Anyway, didn’t mean to get all ramped up there. Guess I needed to hear that as much as you do. Love you!