Kiss Your Miracle

Earlier this week I had a break from my usual routine at home with Sky. My mother-in-law Terry volunteered to take her for the entire day so I could get some work done. I’m doing a three-week training session for an online grading job and I’ve also started writing articles on-line to earn a little extra money. But during a typical day with Adam at work, my only computer time is whenever Sky naps, which is sometimes just 40 minutes – barely enough time to get started. So when Terry offered to watch Sky at her house I quickly accepted. From 9am until 4:30pm on Tuesday I had the entire house to myself.

I think I’ve been home without Sky two times so far since she was born. It was definitely a weird feeling to walk through the door by myself after dropping her off with her grandma. But in my mind a clock was ticking and I didn’t want to waste a minute. I sat right down to work and just like that, three hours passed. I stopped for fifteen minutes to make myself a big, fat bowl of oatmeal and then went back to work. By 3:30pm I’d accomplished even more than I’d planned. I could also feel my brain starting to shut down, so I decided my work day was over.

I stood up and stretched. I cleaned up the kitchen, then straightened the living room. I looked down at Sky’s toys, still stacked in the corner exactly like they’d been at 9am. Suddenly, my mind filled with questions about her. What was Sky doing just then? What had she eaten for lunch? Had she pooped? Did she miss me? What should I do with myself for the next hour? For a while I just stood there. Then I decided to lie down on the bed and read. But I couldn’t concentrate. I looked at the clock every five minutes.

At 4:30pm Adam walked through the door with Sky in his arms. I immediately grabbed her and kissed her sweet face all over, asking her a million questions about her day. She squealed and squirmed to be put down. “Well,” I said as she took off running. “Okay then.”

Later that night as I prayed for her before bed, I realized how much less tired I felt than usual. It had been nice to have a break, nice to have the chance to miss my baby. And I found myself looking forward to tomorrow, when I’d get to have her all to myself again.

To all you stay-at-home moms without family around (thanks again, Terry!), I hope you can afford to splurge on a babysitter. And not just for a date-night with your hubby. But for yourself. So you can accomplish something you’ve been wanting to do without any interruptions. Or maybe just so you can lie down on the bed and read. It might feel a bit odd, but that’s okay. Motherhood is a job that doesn’t really have an end. Breaks are good.